May 11, 2005

Where's the glory in that?

So, the anger and bitterness is in full swing at my office. I don't think it much matters how the attorneys handle Gail's death, it's going to make someone angry and bitter. (For the record, they've offered counseling and no-questions-asked time off for anyone who needs it) Anger and bitterness is very popular in my office and I'm just not sure I understand the point. It's not like anyone would dare to voice a complaint to the bosses, they just carry it around and share it with each other in ugly feeding frenzies otherwise known as "going out to lunch".

I have my own reasons for being angry and bitter towards the bosses, but I just can't carry that burden around all the time. Here's the thing, when you're angry and bitter, it impairs your ability to enjoy your life, to enjoy your family, to appreciate the glorious spring flowers and Lord knows, it plays hell with your ability to create. And I'm way more interested in all those things than I am in being angry and bitter. Don't get me wrong, I get completely pissed off and bitch and cuss around with the best of them. But then I let it go. It's boring. I'd rather make a quilt.

Finally figuring this out is one of the many blessings being a stepmother has brought me. At various times in my life and for various reasons, I've harbored a lot of anger towards Ash's mom. A dear friend finally asked me one day a few years back why I was letting the mom camp out in my head. Lightbulb goes on over Nikki's head. Carrying around anger and bitterness just gives control of your head to the person you're angry and bitter at. It lets them keep you from enjoying your life, from creating. And the worst part is, that person most likely isn't giving you a second thought. Screw that. If there's one thing I'm going to take away from losing my friend Gail this week, it's the reminder that life is fragile and we'd better damn well appreciate it and enjoy it while we're here. So go make a quilt or something!

Title note: I'm one of those people who quotes movies all the time. The title of this entry is one of my favorites. Bonus points to anyone other than Dave who can name the movie.

1 comment:

teri springer said...

??"A Shot in the Dark??""