fruits of summer

One of the many things I love about summer is all the yummy fruit. Mmm, berries and peaches!I had peaches that were on the verge of too ripe (that's what happens when your eyes are too big for your tummy when it comes to buying all that wonderful fruit!), so I made a crisp. There was a container of raspberries that needed to be eaten too, so I threw them in on top.

I like a super-simple crisp, no goopy brown sugar or spices that overwhelm the taste of the fruit. Mix 1/4 cup butter with 1/3 cup each flour, white sugar and oats. Bump it up to 1/3 and 1/2 cups for a bigger crisp. A couple of dabs of butter on the fruit before the topping will help keep the fruit from boiling over the top. Sooooo delicious!

Sunday Mom and I went out to Greenbluff to pick strawberries. I have to confess that I'm not a big fan of the ginormous strawberries from California and Mexico that you get at the grocery store. They're ok, and I always buy some early in the spring when I'm craving some juicy red fruit. But it's always there in my mind that with a little patience I can have these little explosions of sweet juicy sunshiny flavor right off the bush. Heaven. This year it took a little extra patience as all our local fruit is running about 3 weeks behind, thanks to the endless cold rainy weather. Farm Chicks is celebrating Strawberry Week this week. Go check out the yumminess!

Gratuitous cute cat photo!

Painting summer

First, thank you so much for all the kind, sweet, tender comments both here and on Facebook. It was hard to post my story, but it was also very freeing.

Second, here's a little something I painted this weekend. I started with a nice layer of molding paste to make that yummy texture. I love the color too...feels like summer!

Did I waste it? Not so much I couldn't taste it, Life should be fragrant, Roof top to the basement

This is the sight that made me cry at AshLee’s wedding. AshLee dancing with her dad to U2’s Kite. I recognized the song and watched her tuck her head into his chest and all of a sudden the tears were streaming gently down my face.

I haven’t shared here about the events that brought about such huge changes to my life 4.5 years ago. It’s not that it’s a big secret, I’ve shared my story with both friends and strangers when the moment seemed right. I guess the moment just hasn’t ever seemed right here. This is a place where I share my art and creativity and the things that bring me joy. And while I’ve found tremendous creativity and joy since the end of my marriage, the fact, and the story of that end are very painful for me.

We met as 18 year old college students. Neither one of us planned to meet the person we would marry at 18, but we agreed that you don’t pass up something special just because it doesn’t happen like you planned. We married at 25, by which time I was overjoyed to officially become AshLee’s stepmom, a role I had already embraced. Although I worked and was involved in various activities, my focus was on building a family and a home with them. It wasn’t perfect, but I felt like we trusted and understood each other. We were best friends. He told me I was his best friend on the day he told me he didn’t want to be married to me anymore. He moved out a week later and proceeded to cut me out of his life as much as possible. I think it was easier for him that way. He did say that his leaving should not affect my relationship with AshLee and I’ve been blessed to retain the close bond she and I have.

Needless to say, I was devastated. My entire world had been yanked out from under me. It didn’t help that I lost a job that I loved 2 months later. But I held my head up and learned that pain can be very clarifying. The stupid things I used to worry about melted away. I relaxed. And I began dreaming about how I wanted to live the rest of my life and I went to work to make those dreams happen.

4.5 years later, I’m at peace with the end of my marriage. I have a happy, fulfilling life that I love. But I was still rather apprehensive about Ash’s wedding. Would I really have a role as part of her family or would I be a fifth wheel bumping along rather uncomfortably? As it turned out, everyone involved welcomed and included me as part of the big crazy family of people who love this amazing girl.

And when she danced with her dad, to a song that holds deep meaning and connection to the two of them, I thought about that connection, and the family life and jokes and traditions and quirks the three of us shared, and I cried tears of joy. Joy that our time together had happened and that I got to be a part of it.

And so now, it finally feels right to tell this story here in this place where I document happy things in my life. Now I’ve found joy in this story, all that much sweeter for having survived the pain.

And yet I'm still a little bit terrified to publish this post. To lay myself open in this way. But, with some encouragement from the lovely Liv Lane, I'm working at being more open and authentic. And honestly? This story is such a huge part of who I am today, such a huge catalyst for the creativity and joy I now fill my life with, that it just doesn't seem right to hold it back any longer.

*The title of this post is a lyric from the song Kite by U2.

She quilts!

It's true! I am a quilter! Much as I love to paint and make jewelry and journal, and and and, quilting is my first love. I love the colors and textures. And there's something about sitting down to stitch that calms and comforts me like nothing else can.

Blossom 20" by 20"

This is a piece that I hand dyed. I quilted/embroidered it with perle cotton. I'm really loving using embroidery as the quilting, combining two things I love to do. You can see this piece up close and personal at the North Idaho Quilters show this Friday and Saturday at the Kootenai County Fairgrounds in Coeur d' Alene.

True beauty

This is me today. The real me, as I am. With the ten extra pounds and the wrinkles and the pimples on the same face. With the messy house, the weeds in the yard and that darn double chin. The girl who turned the wrong way this morning on the way to the hairdresser I've been going to since I was 16. And the truth is, none of that matters.

What matters is that today my sweet beautiful AshLee will marry her sweet beautiful Ben. And we will all gather together, her crazy hodgepodge of a family, to share our joy for them as they set out on the life they've chosen to share. We will come as we are, beautiful in our imperfection, transformed by our shared love for these two. And that is the most beautiful thing I can imagine.

some new paintings

Pistol and I have been spending tons of time out here lately, but I did finally get back to painting and finished up these three little angels.

I think this little blond girl is my favorite. I figured out how to mix this nice blond hair color by accident in Sunny Carvalho's class at ArtFest.

These three are a series I painted as a commission for my friend Lynn.

It felt good to paint again. Need to make more time for that...

Pistol says...

I like to act like a well-groomed, dignified house cat...

but at heart I'm a goofy little dirt cat!
(I sure hate that wet towel mom throws on me before she lets me back inside!)

i love my book club...

It's not about the books, although we've read some great ones, including this one. In fact, we don't spend much time talking about the books...we're usually too busy talking about every other topic under the sun.

For us, it's about the friendship and the food! Once a month I get to have a great meal in the company of these kind, interesting, funny, wise women. And every time, as I sit with them around a table, I feel so blessed to be there.